A Big Lesson.

I have learned so much within the past three months, it's amazing. I have faltered and stumbled in my faith, HARD....because when my marriage ended....I ended. I sometimes feel I talk about this too much (my marriage ending), but my marriage was who I was. My belief in God was only present when good things were happening in my life. And to me..."good things" meant things that made me happy. I was the one defining what "good" meant. Me. Not God. ME.

When I make my daughter have a bedtime, it does not make her happy. But it's for her good. (and my sanity). When I don't let her have chocolate cupcakes for dinner, she is not happy...but it's for her own good. When she wants to stay home and miss school, I don't let her. No matter how much she begs......why? because it's for her own good.......

How is God any different with me? He is doing things for my own good, but I don't think they are good because it's not what "I" want.

I have learned that regardless of my heartbreak and tears, God is here. And even though it doesn't feel like He is with me, there are good things coming to pass. I tell myself on a daily basis to just be patient. God knows what "I" want. And that's as far as "I" can take it. The rest is up to God. I have learned that just because I "feel" like my world ended...it hasn't. Perhaps it has just begun. When the cacoon feels like the world has ended, it is just the beginning when it flies as a butterfly.....right? And as ironic as this sounds, coming from me, who was such a cynic towards God just months ago....my belief in him has been strengthened. My love for him has grown. My dependence on him has multiplied. And when I have my moments when I cry, it's okay. My tears will not last forever. There ARE good things happening. I DO laugh and smile. I DO love many people in my life who love me back. I HAVE met new friends on this new journey. I used to believe that God only existed when "I" approved of what was going on in my life. And when things went a different way, then I believed He must have forsaken me. That is what I "used' to believe. Today, I believe that whatever has happened in my past....today I have the best life I could ever have. The very best...

Yes.
Life IS good....

TODAY, my belief is along the same lines as this song I heard not too long ago. This song speaks my heart. I hope you click here to listen to it...

http://www.rinni-godsgrace.blogspot.com/